Friday, January 29, 2010

Global Warming Jihad

According to the AP, Osama bin Laden warns of the dangers of global warming on a tape released on Al-Jazeera, and says the way to stop it is to bring the wheels of the American economy to a halt.

Global Warming Jihad

By Asher Embry

For those on the “global warming” fronts
It’s been a string of lousy months.
Climategate, Copenhagen, frigid cold
Have put their climate scam on hold.

They’ll take support wherever they can,
Even from remote Waziristan.
And it looks like they may have turned the tide -
Now they’ve got bin Laden on their side.

Copyright 2010 Gaffe Czar, LLC

Holder’s Christmas "Present"

Does anyone believe Robert Gibbs’ weekend doozie that during a 3000-second interrogation of terrorist Abdulmutallab we “got all [we] could out of him” or President Obama’s equally flimsy “I will do everything in my power… to keep America safe” even as he allowed that terrorist to be Mirandized before a single intelligence official could ask him a single question?

Holder’s Christmas "Present"
By Asher Embry

Of all Obama’s worst mistakes
The one from which our trust most shakes,
The biggest blunder of them all,
Occurred with Holder’s Christmas call
To treat Mutallab like a crook
A flub which in an instant took
A crucial opportunity
To fight our War successfully.

How can Obama stand and say
He’s working at this every day,
And doing everything he can
To keep us safe from such a man?

O’s Goebbels - Gibbs - still tells the nation
That Umar’s quick interrogation
Which lasted 50 minutes long
(Oprah'd spend more with Cheech & Chong)
Could give us all we had to know
To stop these terror threats which grow.

If that’s the case, why’d O insist
An “isolated extremist”
Attacked that plane, when he’d have known
The terror plot was Yemen-grown?

If O’s response has been so good
Why did it not start with Fort Hood?
If he’d addressed the problems then
We wouldn’t be unfocused when
The Christmas bomber’s Dad made clear
To keep his Qaeda son from here.

The message comes right from the top
To take the steps we need to stop
The threat of Terror War attacks
And ne’er go back to being lax.

O blew our chance for fresh intel.
Unless reversed the cost will swell,
Will haunt Barack, increase our fears,
And threaten all our lives for years.

Copyright 2010
Gaffe Czar, LLC

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Barack, the Populist

Obama’s latest pose was unveiled at his “town hall” performance in Elyria where two dozen times he promised he’d “never stop fighting” for us. (It should be noted that he also said: “But this isn’t about me” and then proceeded to use the personal pronoun and refer to himself in the third person as “Obama” more than 70 times - 4% of his speech.) Obama also ad-libbed that if all he wanted was to be popular he would do nothing at all and he would be loved. Truer words may never have been (unintentionally) uttered.

Barack, the Populist
By Asher Embry

Will Barack, the Populist, come to town
Driving a pickup like the real Scott Brown?
Clinging to antipathy, guns, and God?
Calling-out elitists like Kerry and Dodd?
Taking the side of the Cambridge cops?
Spurning arugula for other crops?

How can Obama with his turned-up nose
Hope to get away with this of-the-people pose?

It’s a New Populism, Obama-style;
The kind that he’s been practicing all the while:
What the people want, Barack doesn’t heed;
‘Cause he will decide what the people need.

He’s “angry” and “fighting” and “feisty” too.
“No bedwetting” from Barack’s rabid crew.
But by bashing business O quickly will see
That his “populism” mauls the economy.
The more he does, the more it’s clear
That this “man-of-the-people” has a cast-iron ear.

He’ll “fight for you” and we’ll see when he’s done -
How many more Conservatives have run and won.

Copyright 2010 Gaffe Czar, LLC


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Wicked Great Election

In assessing the Massachusetts Senate race, the New York Times’ Adam Nagourney reported that “Democrats across the country are starting to wonder aloud if they misjudged the electorate over the last year.” But not the ever-sure Mr. Axelrod, whose response to the Brown victory is to push forward with the ObamaCare bill: “I think that it would a terrible mistake to walk away now. If we don't pass the bill, all we have is the stigma of a caricature that was put on it.” Apparently Axe thinks we are assuaged because: "The president is a thoughtful guy and he's reflecting on what happened and thinking through what lessons there are there and how to move forward.”

Wicked Great Election

By Asher Embry

The “astroturf” is blooming up by Massachusetts bay.
At snowy polls, we “evil-mongers” finally got our say.
Our “manufactured” Brown support did sound the clarion call
And showed that “angry mobs” weren’t just ”teabagging” after all.

Yet still Barack, Pelosi, Reid will try to pass their Bill.
It doesn’t seem to matter that it’s not the people’s will.
How much more clearly could we speak? On what does “O” reflect?
Ten months from now we’ll make it clear who we won’t re-elect.

Copyright 2010
Gaffe Czar, LLC

Monday, January 11, 2010

Reid’s “Dialectic”

Is there any limit to what Obama and the disciples will forgive – or give – in the name of passing ObamaCare?

Reid’s “Dialectic”
By Asher Embry

Dim Harry says we won’t elect
A “Negro” speaking “dialect.”
Obama says he thinks it’s fine
Since Harry votes the party line.
It’s clear Barack could not object
Since 60 votes Reid did collect.

So many times that we’ve lost track
Has Harry Reid begun to crack.
There was that time he once before
Declared that we had “lost” the war.
Said: We, the people, “smell” - P.U.,
And called us “evil-mongers” too.
Said : it would “help” when Teddy died
Said: Bush - the "loser” - also lied.
Said: only those who wanted slaves
Could fail the give his health bill raves.

It surely proves how very much
These Reid-like Dems are out of touch.

Copyright 2010
Gaffe Czar, LLC

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Airport Security?

Airport Security?
By Asher Embry

Reluctantly we let Napolitano check our shoes.
By now it’s clear this exercise is mostly just a ruse.

We tell you now we’ll draw the line when TSA resorts
To checking if there’s anything secreted in our shorts.

Haphazard screening fails the test and maybe we forgive it;
But giving Qaeda 5th Amendment rights? That makes us livid!

Today the White House stages its theatrical events
To demonstrate O has a plan; of course it’s just pretense.
As long as Abdulmutallab is read Miranda rights;
We’ll miss the “ticking bombs” Al Qaeda’s placed on other flights.
And closing Gitmo down is still your terror-fighting plan?
Barack, don’t tell us that you’re doing everything you can.

As long as O keeps hoping that he’ll change jihadists’ views
Our existential war on terror’s one we’re doomed to lose.

Copyright 2010
Gaffe Czar, LLC