Monday, November 30, 2009

“Obama/Biden 2012: Hide the Decline”

As he searches for a slogan for Obama/Biden 2012, David Axelrod knows Obama can’t reuse President Reagan’s “Are you better off than you were four years ago?” Now that Climategate’s Phil Jones’ expression “hide the decline” permanently has entered the political lexicon, may we offer Axelrod a suggestion?

“Obama/Biden 2012: Hide the Decline”
By Asher Embry

We’ve got ourselves a Prez who’s in a permanent campaign.
Each day’s events designed by Ax to help “O” run again.

Yet unemployment’s on the rise and terror’s gotten worse.
Instead of watching spending, he’s just opened up the purse.
The world has seen him dither and apologize and bow
Resulting in the worldwide view our country’s weaker now.
Transparency’s elusive and post-partisan he’s not.
With made-up jobs and health care claims his honesty is shot.
He’s “calling out” his enemies, vindictiveness abounds.
And any sari’d blonde, it seems, can crash the White House grounds.

No way that voters feel that we are better off with “O.”
So Ax knows Reagan’s question will be answered with a “no!”
What can he do? What novel tricks can Ax this time arrange?
Get Shepard Fairey painting “Hope” and talk again of “Change?”

Obama needs a slogan. Thanks to Phil Jones, I’ve got mine.
It’s this: “Obama/Biden 2012: Hide the Decline”

Copyright 2009 Gaffe Czar, LLC

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

ObamaCare: We’re Scrooged

Our government just issued new guidelines for breast cancer screening which eliminate routine mammograms for women 40 – 49 years old, cut in half the frequency of mammograms for women 50 – 74, and eliminate them for women 75 or older. The American Cancer Society and other experts condemned the change.
Isn’t this rationing exactly what the “Angry Mob” has been worried about?

ObamaCare: We’re Scrooged
By Asher Embry

Our government just said we screen for cancer way too much.
They think we’re spending too much dough on mammograms and such.
(Our private doctor heard the news and summoned up a swear.)
What happened to O’s constant praising of preventive care?

And what comes next? What other routine healthcare will be lost?
Perhaps Barack will rule that EKG’s aren’t worth the cost.
Who needs a new hip, MRI or blood test anyway?
We’ll wait until the Health Choices Commission has its say.

So, we just got a glimpse of what our healthcare holds in store.
Like Scrooge, we got to see the future Congress voted for.
It’s clear the kind of treatment which ObamaCare will give.
We vote: it’s not the system under which we choose to live.

Copyright 2009
Gaffe Czar, LLC

December 11th: Afghan Decision Day?

Obama picks up his Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo on December 10th. Want to bet when his Afghan troop decision will come?

December 11th: Afghan Decision Day?
By Asher Embry

As we await his second Afghan plan in half a year,
“Obama’s just so thoughtful, give him time” is what we hear.
His indecisive weakness is the problem, that’s our fear.
But here’s the actual reason his decision isn’t near:

He always puts Obama first; he’s not surprised us yet.
So we are now quite certain and we’ll gladly place our bet
That “O” won’t make a call on how the Afghan war is manned
Until he’s gone to Oslo and the Nobel’s in his hand.

Copyright 2009
Gaffe Czar, LLC

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

No Berlin Wall Apology?

As we celebrate the anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, it’s clear not everyone learned the lessons President Reagan taught us about American strength, commitment to freedom, “meddling,” and dealing with the world’s evil empires.

No Berlin Wall Apology?
By Asher Embry

Of course Barack’s not in Berlin to celebrate the fall.
At least he’s not apologizing for “… tear down this wall.”

Copyright 2009
Gaffe Czar, LLC

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Thank God Obama “Saved” Jobs

Too few have looked critically at the 640,329 jobs the Obama White House reported as “saved or created” by the Stimulus. Those who looked have been left incredulous by the many examples of world-class exaggeration, distortion, and bureaucratic bungling - just in time for the unemployment rate to soar to 10.2%.

Thank God Obama “Saved” Jobs
By Asher Embry

Barack and Joe on Friday raved
About the million jobs they “saved”.
A closer look and you will see
What Webster’s calls: hyperbole.

Wanna see a good example?
Evidence is clear and ample.

$1000 bucks to cut the lawn
“Saves” 50 jobs? That’s quite a con!
And how could $15,000 grease
The way to “save” 5-score police?
$900 draws the biggest hoots:
Nine jobs “created” making boots.

Don’t trust this count from Joe the Vice,
We know some jobs were counted twice.
And many “saved” jobs, people say,
Were really just a raise in pay.
Some jobs they “saved” were threatened but
They’d never really have been cut.
Still others “saved” more jobs by far
Than they admit there even are.
And typos caused the count to grow
By thousands more, as now we know.

So, all in all, what we can state:
This White House sure can obfuscate.
Who’d ever think they’d get away
With counting “saved” jobs anyway?

The ruse could only work this well
With Press still deep in ‘Bama’s spell.
Perhaps that spell is broken when
Our unemployment’s over 10.

Copyright 2009
Gaffe Czar, LLC